Training For Real Violent Situations

Do you think reality based training is all strikes, fights, kills and weapons?

Well, you couldn't be more wrong. Real world violence is so much more than just fighting. The physical part is just a piece of the whole "violent pie", there are psychological elements and there are biological elements that many people don't realize (i'll explain in a moment).


But first, i want to deal with how you train vs the reality of when it actually happens.


How does an average "self defense student" train for a violent confrontation?

Let me take a guess here, yeah?

1-You train in some sort of big hall with wooden floors and mirrors?

2-You train in an a/c or a fan-filled windowed fresh and cool room?

3-You wear gloves and protection pads to protect your tender little hands?

4-You hit pads and bags of all kinds to feel tough?

5-You spar with someone your gender, size, height, weight, etc.

6-You have a very nice compliant partner who falls and tumbles when you throw him/her, no retaliation or resistance?

7-At the end of the day you feel confident and safe.

8-At the end of the course you get a certificate and a belt.


Awesome! right? I mean that sounds so damn lucrative!

 
Yeah... Now let me tell you what happens in a real violent confrontation based on the points above.


1-You'll be struggling for your life in a dark corner of an alley, with no one there to help you or hear your cries of help, even if people do, they may not come to your rescue, due to the fear of getting hurt themselves, police isn't always there to help you, it's just you and your attacker/s, yes, there is always a huge possibility of there being more than one attacker and they might be on drugs, drunk, etc.

2-It would be either extremely cold, or it might be rainy or really hot, noisy, sticky, smelly and nasty, as in disease ridden.

3-Your hands won't have any protection, unless of course you wear your gloves everywhere you go and if you instinctively punch and miss or hit the wrong(hard) place, you will break your fist and wrist.

4-Pads and bags don't hit back, your attacker on the other hand, won't stop hitting or stabbing you like a punching bag that you are for him, and he'll want to "puncture" you beyond repair. 

5-There is also a possibility of the attacker being a female or she might be laying a trap for you so the others in the gang can ambush you later, you just can't assume anything in a real violent situation. Although mostly it's a male, and he will be stronger, bigger, more skilled and violent than you. That's why he picked you, he knew you are weaker than him/her, so forget weight class, etc. This isn't going to be a fair situation for you. there is no "fair" situation or fight here when it comes to these things.

6-Like i said, your attacker would most likely be stronger than you and possibly heavier than you, that's why he targeted you, you are an easy target for him, do you think you can throw a 6ft 1inch, 200lbs man who is constantly hitting you and stabbing and coming you at full speed with everything he's got and not holding back a bit? What about two of them? Would you use your "lighting fast reflexes" to strike them both simultaneously like you do in training and run? Why don't you give it a try? Ask two of the strongest people who are closest to you and tell them to charge at you full speed, now test if you'll be able to use the fine motor skills you "train" in for three times a week.. Maybe even less? On those walking bulldozers.

7-At the end of the training day, you might feel safe and confident, but tell me something, do you want to "feel" safe and confident or do you want to Be Safe and Confident? They're two different things, you know?

8-At the end of an attack all you get are emotional and physical scars and bruises, no certificate or belt can help you before, during or after an attack, they're just pieces of printed cloth and paper. Would you have them or would you rather have the skills necessary to save your life and possibly your loved ones? It's up to you, open your eyes and focus on the things that actually matter.

 

Back to where i was, see, if you think that to survive violence, just "learning some techniques" will help you a 100%, you're sorely mistaken. Like i mentioned before there are a lot of psychological and even biological elements that contribute to a situation.

So what do you do?
Well first, work on your communication skills, learn to diffuse a confrontation before it escalates, try not to antagonize the guy any further, he's looking for a reason, if you give it to him, you're f'd.

Try to keep a calm low voice, but don't show any fear, you don't want him to bully you either, maintain a strong body language, be intimidating without actually doing anything obvious that might say "I'm looking for a reason to hit you", it's the subtle things that'll catch his eye.

Next what you can do is be prepared, don't decide on anything fixed, but be prepared, physically and psychologically for various situations;

 -If you're traveling to/from somewhere, keep a back up route in mind to your destination.

-If you're not sure about an area you're going to, then try and arm yourself, make an improvised knife, or at least keep some keys or a sturdy pen handy.

-If you're going home late at night, and you see suspicious characters lurking around you, trust your gut, try and create distance first and then change your direction from your true destination, you don't want them to follow you home and become a victim of an home invasion attack.

-Situational awareness is really important, your eyes should be in all of the 10 directions, yes, 10.
Front.
Back.
Left.
Right.
Front/left.
Front/right.
Back/left.
Back/right.
Up.
Down.

-Being environmentally aware is really the most helpful ability and the most necessary state of mind. Knowing what's where can help you devise tactic/s to escape the situation.

Someone might be hiding under a parked vehicle, a bus probably, and might try and trip you to get you to the ground and render you helpless. If you're environmentally aware, you just might catch a glimpse of that someone and be cautious of where you step and what you do.

-Be careful of needles(for disease, poison), blades(infection, high blood loss possibility), acids(i don't need to tell you how dangerous this one is), chilli powder(to blind you and disorient you with pain, so they can rob or even kidnap you possibly), etc.

-There's also the terrain in which you might be attacked, i.e. wet, slippery, rocky, etc.



Stuff like that. Basically you have to understand, violence is not all physical, it's psychological, biological and environmental too, and for that you have to train as such, remember, train like you fight, fight like you train.

Well, that's about it for today.

Thanks for reading.

Do they matter?

 

Do you think, age, height, size, speed, strength matter? Or do you think it's just your overall skills and mostly your intent that really matters?

Well, i'll just let his actions speak louder than my words.

Did you see what happened there? Such a brave little man he is. i'm sure his parents are proud of him.

The thing is, in majority of cases like the above, who you are matters more than how physically trained and what rank/belt you are.

Many would say, what this kid did was risky, dangerous, etc. etc. but what if he hadn't done what he did? Don't you think the outcome could've been much worse? Maybe the robber would've shot both of them. You can clearly see the robber isn't an experienced one, his mind must be in a state of panic, and the combination of gun in panicked hands just doesn't set well with each other.

There are different types of violence, and there are different types of suitable actions and reactions for them, here's the thing though, no one can possibly train in each and every one of them, why? Because there are virtually infinite possibilities.

The most common thing between all those situations is the intent, the one who has the perfect intent, increases their chances of survival. The psychological aspect of the situation determines the survivor. The best thing to do is choose a few handful of effective physical methods that apply to the maximum number of situations, so you don't waste time thinking and focus more on having a perfect intent, so you can put those methods to good use.

Now in the above video, you see, he didn't apply any "technique", no, what he did was use common sense, he got the weapon away from him and just started striking, it wasn't on any specific target, why? Because there wasn't enough time to stand there to think and choose his target. He hit what was in front of him, which disoriented that already panicked idiot, he was surprised, and that gave the other guy enough time to come around and help the little man. The robber ran like the coward and a failure that he is, all because of that boy's on the spot instinctive actions, not reactions or thoughts, but actions.

Back to the topic.

As you saw the attacker was... lets say... umm.. superior? to the boy... or was he? No, he wasn't, he was taller, maybe stronger, but definitely not superior, why? Because he lacked the necessary things, three of them being, courage, will and a perfect intent, not to mention the presence of mind, which the boy has here, wouldn't you say?

That's it for today.
Thanks for reading.

Surviving an Assault and Appropriate use of force

Today i'm going to deal with one of the very sensitive topics in the self defense world. The "Appropriate Use Of Force" and can it truly help you survive a violent assault?

In today's violent world, anyone can be attacked without any warning or signs. There are people who do not care about the law, about innocent people like you or your family. There are many situations where physical assault take place, from bullying in schools to mugging to home invasions, road rages, etc. All attackers in those situations have one thing in common, and that's their Violent Intent. Those people don't think or care who they're gonna hurt, all they know is they are going to hurt to get what they want and once they have gotten it, they might not stop and might kill you in cold blood without hesitation.

We all were raised to follow the law and we do. But when we're being attacked, the law isn't  there to protect you, it is going to get involved though, but only after all the f'd up things have already happened to you and the irreparable damage has been done.

No matter how harsh it is, that's the truth and i'm sorry to burst your pretty little bubble with the prick of reality! but you just can't avoid that. when it comes to violence, there is no avoiding this kind of harsh reality.

Many people including self defense instructors will tell you to use "appropriate force" .

Well, first, let me ask you and them this, What is appropriate force? How do you know what's appropriate? Which situation is it appropriate to do what? How would you measure it? Would you measure appropriate force when an attacker is coming at you wanting to beat the living shit out of you? Or when you and your girlfriend/wife/family member are being ambushed out of nowhere by two or more attackers with weapons? And when they're raping them and forcing you to watch while they make a sandwich out of their shoes, your face and the concrete or in other words, "curbstomping" you by crushing your face with their shoes on the pavement or on edge of the sidewalk? huh?! Was that too graphic for your fragile little mind? hmm? Was i too harsh? Too mean? Well too f'ing bad! Because that's how it happens! That's the reality of it! You have to deal with it and for that, you first have to accept it and then f'ing get used to it! And do something about it by being prepared for it.

Now, you don't wanna end up like the above mentioned graphic scenario, do you? Well, then throw the "appropriate force" bullshit away, unless you understand what it means, because when you're being attacked, you can't just be like "Wait mr. attacker! I want to "assess" the situation first, so i can use the appropriate amount force to defend myself and hurt you in an appropriate manner in the process and then we can go home and appropriately live happily ever after" And then make the cute face like this (^_^)... Well? Can you? Yes. Yes you can. But that'd be pretty f'ing stupid now wouldn't it?

There is no time to do anything except fighting back.

There is no "appropriate force" when it comes to Real Violence. You're not going to f'ing wait and see what's appropriate and what's not. NO!

When you see someone is coming at you violently, or when they're already there beating the fcuk outta you, all you do is fight back with all you've got so you can survive! And you fear and hate that person with all your mind, body and soul during the whole time they're on you and even after that. Anyone that has been in a violent situation will tell you the same thing.

You can't think in those situations! You just have to.. Do! Do what's necessary to survive and go back to your family alive and in one piece, and not end up beaten to a pulp, a bloody mess of many shreds and pieces.

So please, just stop with the "appropriate force" non-sense, alright?

Now if someone reads this, all they'll think is "man! this guy is hell bent on killing everyone and now he's asking us to do the same thing" or "if we do this we'll definitely go to jail" blah blah blah etc. etc. etc. You can think all that if you want, see, if you're thinking that, it only means that till now, you were lucky enough to have not faced with such violence and i'm happy for you, really. But can you predict the future? What if god-forbid you do face it someday? What then?
I'll tell you what? If you've read this and remembered this, you just might be able to fight back without worrying about what the law is gonna do to you after the attack and instead worry what the attacker is gonna do to you during the attack if you don't fight back, and what you're gonna do to him so that you can survive, and when you do think and act like that, you'd have a chance of survival in violence.

Look i'm not saying that you should just go around breaking the law and killing everyone who messes with you or looks and walks towards you the wrong way. NO! That's what the attackers i'm talking about here do to you and to others, because they don't have the same respect for others lives and the law as you do.

What i'm saying is don't think about what's "legal" or "appropriate" in situations that could end with you ending up in a morgue or in a hospital bed. Although with the amount of damage you'd sustain during those violent attacks, you just might think of death as a much better option. Sad, i know, but it is what it is. Thing is, I know you don't want to end up in jail, no one who's smart does, but you don't wanna end up in the hospital or a morgue either, i know i don't.

Another thing is, there are many courses that do teach you about appropriate force and there's no doubt they're very valuable, they'll help keep you out of jail if something does go wrong. I won't say that i don't teach appropriate force to my students/clients, because i do, but here's the thing, that's only for the common fights that happen, by common i mean non-life threatening and no weapons involved, but just some verbal or light hand use types of things, in those scenarios you won't be removing a cleaver and start hacking everyone around you, no, you'll deescalate and if necessary subdue the attacker, if necessary, that's for a mildly violent situation, everyday common violence, etc.

But you never know who you're messing with and even the mildest verbal argument might turn into a full fledged, weaponized, violent assault with multiple attackers coming out of nowhere on you, and you should be prepared for that.

So when it comes to that kind of violence, for me at least, the "use of appropriate force" means, appropriate "time & place" to use force and not the lethality of it. (Although i know that's not what the law means by that).

You should know, that it's our natural God given right to do absolutely anything and everything to ensure our survival along with our loved one's and anyone or anything that wants or means to take that right away from us, is far from being our friend. 

So unless you or i get a 24/7 P.S.D or a Protective Service Detail on us, i think i'm gonna keep this definition in mind when it comes to my life or my attackers death, what about you?


Now that all the violent parts of this post have been said and done, I'll get to the logical part.

Even though, i hate "Appropriate force", it still exists as far as law is concerned, to put it simply, an example of appropriate force would be something like this;

Let's say a mugger gets you, puts a knife or a blade to your throat or just stands at a distance with a weapon, let it be a gun or a knife or a blade or an acid bottle, or anything that he could use to hurt you, he asks you to give him all your valuables, now what do you do?

A- Do you violently beat the living daylights out of him until he dies from it?
B- Do you give him everything and run away?
C- Do you give him everything only to distract him and then beat the living daylights out of him then run away?
D- Do you not give him anything and let him kill you?

If you chose A, C, or D, you're in trouble with the law. If you chose B, you're safe. All he wanted was your valuables, in return you got your life back.

Now add one more thing to that situation, let's say you gave him your things, if he runs away, you're free, but let's say for the sake of this example, he still won't leave, now ofcourse this means; Red flag, he doesn't want a witness describing him to the cops, now what do you do?

A- Run and let him chase after you, maybe he'll give up.
B- Attack him enough to put him down to create an opening and run.
C- Attack him and beat him up, so he doesn't get up and dies.
D- Stay there and be killed.

If you chose B, it means you know what appropriate force means.

Appropriate Force is not just sitting there and taking a beating or Staying on the scene and killing your attacker. This isn't a soldier's war you're fighting, this is civilian life. Appropriate force means, when you know and are sure of the present danger, you will use only enough force on the attacker so you can create an opening for yourself and escape the situation alive, it is not to severely injure or kill your attacker, but to ensure your own safety and survival.

So, now i've posted both sides of the spectrum;

-One where you turn into the violent attacker you were supposed to be fighting and face the consequences of your actions.

-The other where you not only survive but also not be labeled the criminal yourself.

Something to think about, yeah?

Well, that's it for today. Stay safe, Use Common Sense and Logic in your training and life.

Thank you for reading.