Surviving an Assault and Appropriate use of force

Today i'm going to deal with one of the very sensitive topics in the self defense world. The "Appropriate Use Of Force" and can it truly help you survive a violent assault?

In today's violent world, anyone can be attacked without any warning or signs. There are people who do not care about the law, about innocent people like you or your family. There are many situations where physical assault take place, from bullying in schools to mugging to home invasions, road rages, etc. All attackers in those situations have one thing in common, and that's their Violent Intent. Those people don't think or care who they're gonna hurt, all they know is they are going to hurt to get what they want and once they have gotten it, they might not stop and might kill you in cold blood without hesitation.

We all were raised to follow the law and we do. But when we're being attacked, the law isn't  there to protect you, it is going to get involved though, but only after all the f'd up things have already happened to you and the irreparable damage has been done.

No matter how harsh it is, that's the truth and i'm sorry to burst your pretty little bubble with the prick of reality! but you just can't avoid that. when it comes to violence, there is no avoiding this kind of harsh reality.

Many people including self defense instructors will tell you to use "appropriate force" .

Well, first, let me ask you and them this, What is appropriate force? How do you know what's appropriate? Which situation is it appropriate to do what? How would you measure it? Would you measure appropriate force when an attacker is coming at you wanting to beat the living shit out of you? Or when you and your girlfriend/wife/family member are being ambushed out of nowhere by two or more attackers with weapons? And when they're raping them and forcing you to watch while they make a sandwich out of their shoes, your face and the concrete or in other words, "curbstomping" you by crushing your face with their shoes on the pavement or on edge of the sidewalk? huh?! Was that too graphic for your fragile little mind? hmm? Was i too harsh? Too mean? Well too f'ing bad! Because that's how it happens! That's the reality of it! You have to deal with it and for that, you first have to accept it and then f'ing get used to it! And do something about it by being prepared for it.

Now, you don't wanna end up like the above mentioned graphic scenario, do you? Well, then throw the "appropriate force" bullshit away, unless you understand what it means, because when you're being attacked, you can't just be like "Wait mr. attacker! I want to "assess" the situation first, so i can use the appropriate amount force to defend myself and hurt you in an appropriate manner in the process and then we can go home and appropriately live happily ever after" And then make the cute face like this (^_^)... Well? Can you? Yes. Yes you can. But that'd be pretty f'ing stupid now wouldn't it?

There is no time to do anything except fighting back.

There is no "appropriate force" when it comes to Real Violence. You're not going to f'ing wait and see what's appropriate and what's not. NO!

When you see someone is coming at you violently, or when they're already there beating the fcuk outta you, all you do is fight back with all you've got so you can survive! And you fear and hate that person with all your mind, body and soul during the whole time they're on you and even after that. Anyone that has been in a violent situation will tell you the same thing.

You can't think in those situations! You just have to.. Do! Do what's necessary to survive and go back to your family alive and in one piece, and not end up beaten to a pulp, a bloody mess of many shreds and pieces.

So please, just stop with the "appropriate force" non-sense, alright?

Now if someone reads this, all they'll think is "man! this guy is hell bent on killing everyone and now he's asking us to do the same thing" or "if we do this we'll definitely go to jail" blah blah blah etc. etc. etc. You can think all that if you want, see, if you're thinking that, it only means that till now, you were lucky enough to have not faced with such violence and i'm happy for you, really. But can you predict the future? What if god-forbid you do face it someday? What then?
I'll tell you what? If you've read this and remembered this, you just might be able to fight back without worrying about what the law is gonna do to you after the attack and instead worry what the attacker is gonna do to you during the attack if you don't fight back, and what you're gonna do to him so that you can survive, and when you do think and act like that, you'd have a chance of survival in violence.

Look i'm not saying that you should just go around breaking the law and killing everyone who messes with you or looks and walks towards you the wrong way. NO! That's what the attackers i'm talking about here do to you and to others, because they don't have the same respect for others lives and the law as you do.

What i'm saying is don't think about what's "legal" or "appropriate" in situations that could end with you ending up in a morgue or in a hospital bed. Although with the amount of damage you'd sustain during those violent attacks, you just might think of death as a much better option. Sad, i know, but it is what it is. Thing is, I know you don't want to end up in jail, no one who's smart does, but you don't wanna end up in the hospital or a morgue either, i know i don't.

Another thing is, there are many courses that do teach you about appropriate force and there's no doubt they're very valuable, they'll help keep you out of jail if something does go wrong. I won't say that i don't teach appropriate force to my students/clients, because i do, but here's the thing, that's only for the common fights that happen, by common i mean non-life threatening and no weapons involved, but just some verbal or light hand use types of things, in those scenarios you won't be removing a cleaver and start hacking everyone around you, no, you'll deescalate and if necessary subdue the attacker, if necessary, that's for a mildly violent situation, everyday common violence, etc.

But you never know who you're messing with and even the mildest verbal argument might turn into a full fledged, weaponized, violent assault with multiple attackers coming out of nowhere on you, and you should be prepared for that.

So when it comes to that kind of violence, for me at least, the "use of appropriate force" means, appropriate "time & place" to use force and not the lethality of it. (Although i know that's not what the law means by that).

You should know, that it's our natural God given right to do absolutely anything and everything to ensure our survival along with our loved one's and anyone or anything that wants or means to take that right away from us, is far from being our friend. 

So unless you or i get a 24/7 P.S.D or a Protective Service Detail on us, i think i'm gonna keep this definition in mind when it comes to my life or my attackers death, what about you?


Now that all the violent parts of this post have been said and done, I'll get to the logical part.

Even though, i hate "Appropriate force", it still exists as far as law is concerned, to put it simply, an example of appropriate force would be something like this;

Let's say a mugger gets you, puts a knife or a blade to your throat or just stands at a distance with a weapon, let it be a gun or a knife or a blade or an acid bottle, or anything that he could use to hurt you, he asks you to give him all your valuables, now what do you do?

A- Do you violently beat the living daylights out of him until he dies from it?
B- Do you give him everything and run away?
C- Do you give him everything only to distract him and then beat the living daylights out of him then run away?
D- Do you not give him anything and let him kill you?

If you chose A, C, or D, you're in trouble with the law. If you chose B, you're safe. All he wanted was your valuables, in return you got your life back.

Now add one more thing to that situation, let's say you gave him your things, if he runs away, you're free, but let's say for the sake of this example, he still won't leave, now ofcourse this means; Red flag, he doesn't want a witness describing him to the cops, now what do you do?

A- Run and let him chase after you, maybe he'll give up.
B- Attack him enough to put him down to create an opening and run.
C- Attack him and beat him up, so he doesn't get up and dies.
D- Stay there and be killed.

If you chose B, it means you know what appropriate force means.

Appropriate Force is not just sitting there and taking a beating or Staying on the scene and killing your attacker. This isn't a soldier's war you're fighting, this is civilian life. Appropriate force means, when you know and are sure of the present danger, you will use only enough force on the attacker so you can create an opening for yourself and escape the situation alive, it is not to severely injure or kill your attacker, but to ensure your own safety and survival.

So, now i've posted both sides of the spectrum;

-One where you turn into the violent attacker you were supposed to be fighting and face the consequences of your actions.

-The other where you not only survive but also not be labeled the criminal yourself.

Something to think about, yeah?

Well, that's it for today. Stay safe, Use Common Sense and Logic in your training and life.

Thank you for reading.

Multiple Opponents: can you fight them simultaneously? ofcourse not!

Today i'm going to talk about multiple opponents and what to do if you get in such a situation.

As they say there's strength in numbers, well that is completely true when it comes to fighting multiple opponents.

See there are many people who claim to teach you to "fight" multiple opponents and along with those promises you'll see them in their demos doing the same. Then of course there's always the movies that make you think it's possible.
If i haven't already said it, i'll say it again, movie fights, demos and even most of the instructional videos you see are not real fights, they're choreographed movements and that's completely different than being in an actual fight.

Now, there is an exception to fighting multiple opponents, here, size matters, the bigger you are the more difficult it will be for them to put you down, but again, if the number of opponents is high enough, then the biggest of guys can go down.

The thing about multiple opponents is you never know how many there are, where they are and when they'll show up and that's why you never fight multiple opponents, you escape a multiple threats scenario.

Many people that i've come across till now have asked me the same set of questions and this one was always included in that set: How can i take on 3-4 opponents at the same time?" -The answer is, YOU CAN'T! no one can, not unless the individual has a gun, even then it's going to be extremely difficult in that panicky situation to pull out the gun, aim, and shoot all 3-4 people, at least 2 of the 4 will reach you, try to take the gun from you and will succeed too, then you're a dead man.

You can never know exactly what will happen in a situation like this and how it will play out, you cannot play out every possible and probable scenario there is in your training, you just can't do that, there's a million things that can happen and a billion things to take into account for each scenario, anyone would go crazy thinking all of that.

What you can do is follow a set of principles and a short but realistic set of techniques about 5-6 not more, maybe even less, that can be applied to just about anything.

Remember, the more choices you have the more time it'll take for you to choose and execute your choice, and you can't afford to lose precious time in those situations.

I'll say it again, never try to fight multiple opponents, if you do, you'll fail miserably and it'll be the last, fatal mistake of your life, you escape multiple opponents.

So next time you train, try some strategies out on how to escape multiple opponents, rather than fight them, try hurting them enough to clear your way and get out. Also, get your cardio up fast. If you tire out after escaping, your attackers can catch up to you and this time there won't be any escape and you'll have enraged attackers who want your head on a platter. Why? Because you just hit them dude! Remember?
That's why physical fitness is necessary to include in your training.

That's it for today.

Thanks for reading.

Martial Arts vs Street Fighting and Self Defense

 Examples of Street Fights

Examples of Martial Arts

Today's topic deals with the difference between Street Fighting and Martial Arts, I have already posted a topic on Street Fighting vs Self Defense. Now this is a long one, so get ready 'cause i'm gonna try and make it as detailed as possible.
Now, as you can see in the above images, there's a distinct difference between the two.
Question is which one of these actions in the above images would you be able to do if you were in a life threatening situation, had little time, a small space to move around, and no warning at all, the simple things(as shown in street fighting examples images) or the other things(that are done in dramatic way and with pads and protections with dancing and movie-like movements?)

Martial Arts-What does "Martial Arts" mean?

"Martial" means War. "Art" means well, Art.

Martial Arts today is a very delicate subject. People are confused between the reality of fighting and what MA's have to offer in it, in today's time of brutal and merciless violence. Why has this happened?

Well, first lets start with a little simple history and it's current state, Martial Arts as you know them today, weren't the same years ago, they were actually deadly arts, that were used by warriors and officers of the law in wars and real combats, that was about a 100+years ago and before the time when martial arts were popularized as sports for entertainment or recreation or money making schemes or whatever you wanna call it, this transformation happened a few years ago. Although there are MA's used as sports since the ancient roman times, i'm not saying that in those times all MA's were used only in real combat and not in sports, no, there were some that were used for entertainment in those times, but the rules then were not as you see the rules in tournaments today, they were much less safe and much more brutal, some even proved to be fatal, so you see, even when they were used for sports, they were effective enough to seriously injure or kill another person, don't you think that kind of thing would be useful in a real situation? Well, yes and no, in today's time the violence is much more different than violence in those times, today violence has the same principles, but it has become much more out of control, messy and ugly, it's reality is unbearable(so much so, that many people today, willingly choose to ignore it and the so called "violence" shown by the media doesn't help bring out the truth about violence either). Plus, there will always be consequences of using violence. Legal, Moral and Societal consequences that you can't take lightly.

So, anyway, back to my point, because of that, basically, the sports mentality will not help you in a real situation, like today's so called most "dangerous" and "deadly" sport MMA, yes i've heard someone call MMA deadly, i have no idea where that person got that "info", i guess it's from all the publicity. Anyway, let me tell you this and many people who know about the reality of combat and violence will tell you the same thing, the MMA you know, the ring Sport, is not even close to being deadly. There is nothing deadly about a combination of thai boxing and bjj, both of which are quite safe fighting sports, well, at least as safe as fighting can get.

Many so-called expert fighters don't even know how to handle a weapon wielding psycho or coke head who's coming at them full speed stabbing and slashing his way into their face, neck and guts. There are a very few mma fighters who cross train with 'reality based systems', and only then do they even understand the difference between their ring sport and basics of violence, but that's very rare.

Sport competitors have only one mentality, that is to win, not to survive, but to win, but many don't understand this, and i've said it before in my other post, that there is no winning without surviving it(violent situation/s)first.

Today you would not see any division of military or law enforcement training in katas or stuff like that, at max, they train a little in bjj and maybe some ju-jutsu, especially law enforcement train that because they need it in their jobs, as they deal with resistant perps on almost a daily basis, that cannot be restrained easily, they need to take them down so they can restrain them and put the handcuffs on and make the arrest and some fight back even after that, so, they, need these skills, even bouncers need these skills, to restrain angered drunk people who create trouble in clubs, etc. Military guys train in them because they have to be well-versed in every range of combat, as the situations they're in, especially in close combat and also to detain a possible target, you never know what you might need to do or who you might face, with what kind of weapon/s, in what kind of situation/s or terrain/s, so their grappling is quite a lot different than that of the law enforcement type and obviously completely different the sport one. But military personnel rarely ever need to use any sort of H2H or CQC methods, up until a few decades ago they didn't even give that much importance to H2H methods, most of the training consisted of things like firearms training, urban, jungle, guerrilla warfare, survival in different terrains, radio operations, explosives, interrogation techniques, sniper training and depending on what division of Military you were going for, the training would expand from there. Hand to hand combat was almost non-existent in Military training, even during WW2, H2H combat training was less than 2-3 days for the soldiers. It was not until the early late 90's and 2000's that H2H started getting some significant attention in Military training.

Now, back to my point, every line of work that involves violence in some way, has developed training systems specifically to fit the needs of their respective occupation/s. Of course the techniques are taken from many different martial arts, but those techniques are then modified so that they can be put to use effectively in live combat and violent situations they face on a regular basis.

So, dealing with violence on a regular basis is a job for the brave men and women of the law enforcement and the military, and they do it, to ensure our safety, so we can live our lives comfortably, peacefully and not have to deal with all that violence ourselves.

Of course, then there are the bouncers, guards who try and maintain the peace in places like clubs and bars etc. where a thing like peace cannot exist for even a mere second with all the angry drunk out of their minds people, who are always looking for trouble, and then there is the security, VIP protection and bodyguards who protect their clients lives with their own, who ensure their client's safety before their own.

But, unfortunately, for civilians, there is no one to protect us, when these above mentioned, are not around to fight for you and put their lives in danger for your safety.

So who's responsible when that happens?

IT'S YOU! and only you who's responsible for your own safety. First you try and deescalate, if that doesn't work, don't wait for the other guy to hit you first, because if he gets a shot in, believe me, you're not gonna be able to think, see or hear anything clearly, you'll be disoriented, blacked out or knocked out and the guy will be stomping on your head before you can take you next breath, there's your reality!

All you can do and all you should do is: Be First, Be Fast, Be Simple, Be Direct and Be Violent when you're in it, and you should know by that time, that you're not getting out without a fight, after you're finished with the guy, then you can escape.

Of course during the fight your primary goal should be survival, but since you can't survive without a fight, your main goal in that case should be bringing your attacker down first and then, escaping the situation.

I'm talking about the worst case scenario here, it's not always that you'll be fighting for your life, majority of times, fights can be deescalated verbally and you can get out with no trouble. In fact, like i've mentioned before, they can be avoided altogether.

One more point i want to mention is, many people say that you should keep the law in mind while you're in that situation, well, let me ask you this, when the guy won't stop beating you up to a bloody pulp, do you really think about the law? Do you even care? Does your attacker, 'cause let me say this, if he did, he wouldn't be attacking you in the first place, so if he's not thinking about the law, you probably should either, at least not till you know you're safe.

For Example:- Once you have used enough force to stop the assault on you and are able to escape, then you should escape, and not just stay there to kill him, now that would be considered murder, but if he got cut somewhere on his body while you two are struggling with his knife, which he was using to stab you, now that wouldn't be your fault, see where you should draw your line? Okay. Of course, if you see the attack coming beforehand, none of this ever has to happen, but sadly most people don't, so this applies to them.

Think about everything, including the law, before anything happens in the first place. Remember, 'Prevention is better than cure'.

Now, back to MA, see, when you're in MA and you're training in a class, you know you're safe and no one's trying to violently murder you or rape you or rob you or invade your home, you think you can fight cause you kicked your sparring partner's ass, but do you ever stop to think?

Was your partner actually a violent criminal who knew how to use violence?

Did he want something from you so bad that he was willing to do anything to get it from you?

Did he go full force on you and didn't stop and got back up even when you did successfully "beat him down"?

Did he attack you with a really sharp weapon that you didn't know he had it on him?

Did he even resist your attacks to his fullest extent or was he just a living and willing dummy for you to play on?

Did your instructor stop the fight or did you "end it"?

Were you ambushed in your training?





There won't be many people in a real situation, except the other guy's friends possibly.

If you're lucky, there is a chance that there might be some people around who'll intervene for you and/or help you in keeping the attacker down till the police shows up.

But what if there is no one and you did beat down the attacker, and the police shows up after that, you have no proof that you're not the attacker, since you're the one standing and he's the one who's down, you're gone, to jail that is.

Yes, it has happened, people have gone to jail for protecting themselves and/or others, at least until they proved it that it was self defense, or if they had a good expensive lawyer that did it for them.

These type of misunderstandings have occurred more than once.

In a street fight, people will just stand there and watch, rather than helping you, many will actually cheer and shout and encourage you to do stuff and their shouts just escalate things more and more, making you and the other guy more angry and pumped up to fight each other, and then it all goes down to hell from there.

There are instances in violent situations, where people have come to help, but those are one of very few instances, where that happened, the victim was lucky enough that there were people around, it's not always the case, even the case of intervention, the people who tried to help have been shot or stabbed.

Can you handle that? Can you handle someone getting stabbed or shot and taken to the hospital with severe injuries or to the morgue; dead, because they were trying to save you?

Especially because you'd realize later that you froze in the panic and were unable to act under pressure to help the guy who helped you.

There are always legal, moral and societal consequences to such things.

These type of things in life are not at all easy on anyone and neither is violence, it's scary, messy and nothing like you'd imagine, martial arts can only help you so much, you know as the saying goes, 'It's better to have something than to have nothing', even if it is not that much effective at least you would have something to defend yourself with. But the best thing to have to defend yourself is you, your brain, your intuition.

That being said, remember, sometimes, having the wrong thing, just makes bad things worse. So don't rely on them, they still lack the necessary training prep you need to survive real violence.

Also, you need to understand that, there are much worse things that can happen to you than just death.

Note- I realize that many will criticize me and hate me for saying those things about MAs and MMA. Well, to them all i can say, is calm down and think rationally for a second, let go of all that blind rage and bias, and just try to see the point i'm making here.

Again, i'm not saying they're not effective, i'm saying each and everything has a purpose and it's particular elements that it's the most effective in, it's up to you to know what suits best where.

It's up to you to make something effective for himself/herself.

I'm not saying don't do this and that or do this and that, you can do whatever the hell you want, it's your life, who am i to tell you what to do? No one, that's who.
This is just me trying to clear up some misconceptions, trying to open up some eyes, that have been shut by all the propaganda, promotions and all of the movies today, just open your minds for a bit, let go of that hate, rage and bias and you'll realize that there is a point to this and quite a good one too, one that just might save your life some day, if you ever get into one of those type of situations as a result of failing to avoid it.

Anyway, i said whatever that needed to be said and that's about it, if you don't agree, well, hey! Everyone's entitled to their opinion.

There is a saying by Thomas Jefferson to P.H. Wendover, i don't remember the whole thing, but i do remember the first part of it, and it goes like this;

"Difference of opinion leads to inquiry, and inquiry to truth, and that i am sure, is the ultimate and sincere object of us both".

So take from it and do with it what you will.

Well, Thanks for reading, i told you this'll be a long one. I hope this helped though, as i tried my best to do so and make it as clear and detailed as possible.

(I do not own any pictures, they were public domain, taken from wikipedia).